XIV
In the office I was given to patient.
My head was banging loudly. I get out of bed, I open the fridge, and attack on the jar of jam. It is a good remedy when you're a disgusting way of alcohol. Four and five tablespoons vanish nausea and headaches. I throw down the jam with orange juice, then m'infilo back to bed.
Under the pillow I find a compact disc and a note that read: Call me soon. Alexandra. Call me soon? I did not have his number mica nor she mine. We were met at Bourbon Street, the same place where I met Janneke. The location of the trailer. Alexandra was a member of an association that raises funds for the cause Palestinian. He had long hair and a thin face, innocent and optimistic. Alexandra dreamed of peace between Israelis and Palestinians. For this reason, wore badges with slogans peaceful and organized information meetings around Amsterdam. Alexandra was a girl in the leg. We talked for hours on the matter. The heart was. A moving war, ecological devastation, disasters, the money is. That are slaughtered Jews, blacks, whites, or Muslim does not matter. Greed belongs to man. You want to bring up religion, politics or whatever, you turn up the ass from the chair out of interest, or better to stay in front of the TV watching the variety.
After discovering that the water is heated by fire, and we had issues in common, I sit on the roof rack and bike venimmmo the house in the neighborhood. The CD is
Space Oddity by David Bowie. I put it on and am lying in bed with his hands behind his head staring at the ceiling. Unhappy. It is a bit 'that an evening like that hurts. Few stories. I am pleased to be with the girls, talk about the interests, dreams, make us sex, yet feel nothing for them. Neither affection nor gratitude. I can not break through the last wall of resistance. I can not really give me. A return to join. Care to satisfy my sexual desire seeking flesh to bite, chew, and after having tasted the juice, spitting. Stop.
Realistically, I myself do not know how to love more. I fell in love to give, here. With this approach I have ceased to be interested in their and my heart. And over time I realize that the warmth in these relations expresses the same as a neon lamp: synthetic and cold. The chills were slowly withering heat of passion. That bitch Janneke was the only one which I had fond. It was enough to be honest once to make it run away. So tired of having to do with feelings, I prefer to rely on the fair amount of tricks to approach a girl only to fuck, even if the sad day I find myself in bed with the balls drawn.
In any case, the question is not so simple to solve. There are moments in life when being a girl is like going to the pursuit of happiness. How do you search for happiness. Happiness is a state of mind result of a positive lifestyle. What do you think is best for you. I work in a place that I did not like, I was away from home, I suffered terribly rainy summer, I had a penny in my pocket, like hell I could fall in love with someone? I would have preferred to kill rather.
short, set aside the question I take a shower. Dripping into the kitchen. The sink is dull from a pile of dirty dishes. A dried tomato pesto. Half My fridge is empty. The other half, that reserved for Johana, is full of food inedible. The Finns have terrible taste in food. Would go ahead with butter and potatoes if you do not notice that there's so many other stuff on the shelves.
I could go on all day with orange juice and jam. Stirai a clean shirt, I put the, put my jacket and left the house.
raining. After a short period of sunny and warm autumn weather we had fallen into a senseless for me. It was August! The sky was dirty for weeks as the piles of old snow on the roadside. But who was more the case now. The blue of the sky had grayed in an impenetrable shyness and goodnight. Indeed since I arrived in Amsterdam had never overturned any shower followed by days of blue sky. Even after a violent nubigragio maximum intensity of the rain continuing to fall slightly faded.
asking around was not that experienced an annus horribilis, as I suspected. This was unfortunately the norm. Persons thus do not care to walk in the rain without an umbrella in August drench. Wallowed in their natural environment.
arrived at the Albert-Cuyp market. Many people in the stands with the bike at his side.
I stopped by the fishmonger, I bought Italian clams. Later taken arugula, spinach, eggplant, tomatoes, and parsley. The vegetables came from Spain, Greece, Portugal. From a seller's taken the Dutch Gouda cheese. At the market there is everything. A form of globalization that I went to genius, pace of Alexandra or on its behalf.
went on to the bike stalls in hand with the bags hanging from the handlebar and the mule Netherlands.
My friend was playing. Rain or shine VdHelstrstraat the corner of Albert and his music-Cuypstraat welcomes the air and voices. He played a bass worn, chipped, hitting a cymbal with his foot to give further boost to the sound. Falling in love was singing. Passers-by snapped his fingers. With his music he could pull out a piece of happiness to people, and that was to be reported as an absolute miracle. He wore a pair of trousers elegant, white shirt, waistcoat, bow tie and colorful. Conveyed sincere joy. He was not interested in money rushed into the sheath. He enjoyed his stay there in the street to play. Not pretended or wanted to trick us, here. It was his passion and sends it back intact.
Me and him we had never spoken. I sat there, sitting on the bike, and I watched him play. The only gesture of understanding that we changed was a slight bow with his head. For me it was worth more than many wasted words to understand, to make himself understood, to work hard to understand. In fact, we understand our own way, and it did not matter much. When the piece ended
dropped coins into the case and greeted him.
I returned home. I put my bike the chain and went inside. I took off my shoes, I put the expense on the table and stool from the CD of Bowie.
Johana had returned to Finland for Christmas holidays. Johana was a quiet girl, spotless as the snow that fell in his soul was to be just. Even Jerun had stopped to put the Zep dawn.
Comiciai to prepare the sauce with clams. Sometimes
fantastic Tognazzi die like in the film La Grande Bouffe swallowing a pot of pate. I wonder where the other is gone Ferreri as directors, actors like Mastroianni and why Italian cinema has become boring and played by actors with no personality.
The phone rang. He was a colleague of the call center.
- Santiago I have bad news. Today, the office said the department will close the incoming months.
- Seeh, by not joking, got clams on the fire.
- We want to send in Scotland. It is there that will transfer the office. I'm thinking there.
It was not the type to make jokes. Few doubt. They had decided to close shop and change of air.
- They say that they pay us air travel, rent and the pay is good.
- If you move offices in Scotland is to save money. You have not heard about the tax cuts that give the governments? How it works. The multi-country or moving to a country where few pay taxes or where labor is cheap. Watch what happens in India, Indonesia and in Sri Lanka.
- Remember the group of Indians who followed the training a couple of weeks ago? It seems that they are talented and have great spirit of sacrifice. So I heard. That's why I decided to go in Scotland. At least I've got a job there. You never know.
- At least you got a job there.
- Right.
- I have clams on the fire. I gotta go.
- A Monday.
hung up. When cooking was
scolai al dente pasta, I jumped into the sauce and sat at the table. A fine meal steccai me a glass of red and Gouda.
The rain ticking on the windows like a cat asking to enter. I let him out.
I would not have gone to Scotland and a short I lost my job.
I lay on the couch. I removed the bookmark and began to read Voyage au bout de la nuit. I was at the point where the doctor Bardamu hopeful, who arrived in New York at the height of Ford, is slammed down to earth by a colleague's notes: "Here we do not need intelligence, we need to chimps!"
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